Happy New Year! As a new year begins and we leave 2020 behind, it’s time for my annual NFL playoff predictions. This post will focus on the Wild Card games; future posts will predict the outcomes of the Divisional and Championship games, and eventually the Super Bowl.
Important note: the NFL has slightly changed its playoff format. There are now fourteen teams in the playoffs instead of twelve. Only the highest seed in each conference receives a first-round bye.
Let’s go.
First round byes
#1 Kansas City Chiefs
#1 Green Bay Packers
AFC
#2 Buffalo Bills vs. #7 Indianapolis Colts
There are two incredibly dangerous teams in the AFC. One is the Kansas City Chiefs, and the other is the Buffalo Bills. The Bills scored the most points of any team in the AFC, and league-wide are second only to the Green Bay Packers. The red-hot Bills enter the playoffs on a six-game winning streak, concluding their regular season with an absolute demolition of the Miami Dolphins. The Bills are sick of being the team of memes, enduring constant reminders of the four straight failed Super Bowl runs in the 1990s.
The Indianapolis Colts enjoyed a relatively successful 11-5 season, but of concern is that only three of their wins came from teams currently in the playoffs. Can the Colts withstand the seemingly unstoppable Buffalo Bills?
Answer: No.
Prediction: Bills win, 42-21.
Result: Bills win, 27-24.
Comments after the game:
A lopsided affair, this was not.
The Colts held their own against a sluggish Bills squad, but three key failures doomed the Colts: a failed two-point conversion, a missed field goal, and a turnover on downs after an incomplete touchdown pass. Too many points left on the table.
The Bills defense buckled many times today, but Josh Allen and the offense ensured the team would live to fight another day. The last time the Bills won a Wild Card game? 1995.
The Bills advance to the Divisional round to face the Baltimore Ravens!
***
#3 Pittsburgh Steelers vs. #6 Cleveland Browns
Want to feel old? The last time the Cleveland Browns were in the playoffs, Windows XP was the hottest new operating system. Is this the redemption arc for the Cleveland Browns? After years of failure, years of disappointment, is it finally time for the Browns to become a formidable force in the AFC? The Browns must begin to answer these questions with a duel against their division rival, the Pittsburgh Steelers.
What’s the deal with the Pittsburgh Steelers? The Steelers opened 11-0, only to drop four of their last five games in embarrassing fashion. The Steelers have no momentum heading into the playoffs, and they face an upstart Browns team eager to prove itself in the playoffs.
A rout by either team seems unlikely, but an upset is certainly possible.
Prediction: Browns win, 24-21.
Result: Browns win, 48-37.
Comments after the game:
What just happened?
What.
JUST.
HAPPENED?!
Here's a team, the Cleveland Browns, who went into this game dealing with a COVID-19 outbreak that left the team shorthanded. By all accounts on paper, the Browns season faced almost certain doom. How can a depleted team like that go up against a probable Super Bowl favorite, the Pittsburgh Steelers?
With the odds stacked against them and destiny hanging in the balance, the Browns entered Heinz Field for their first playoff game in eighteen years. How did the game begin? Let's take a look at the replay at Heinz Field and -
Oh.
Oh my.
The Browns unleashed Armageddon in a first quarter that will be burned into the psyches of Steelers fans for years to come. Six seconds - it took all of six seconds for the Steelers to collapse. One botched snap that triggered terrible Super Bowl XLVIII flashbacks for Denver Broncos fans set the tone immediately, except this time the botched snap led to a Browns touchdown. And the implosion continued from there.
Ben Roethlisburger severely struggled, throwing four interceptions despite ultimately throwing four touchdowns. The Steelers found momentum in the second half, but the Browns inflicted just enough further damage to keep the game out of reach.
Of all the Wild Card games this weekend, the Browns-Steelers shootout will be long remembered.
The Browns advance to the Divisional round to face the Kansas City Chiefs!
***
#4 Tennessee Titans vs. #5 Baltimore Ravens
Rematch time.
Last year, the Titans stunned the Ravens and the NFL with a shocking upset victory in the Divisional round. Now the Titans and Ravens meet again, this time in the Wild Card round.
The Titans got bored of going 9-7 all the time, so they decided to go 11-5 instead and win the AFC South. Derrick Henry continues to be the Titans’ primary weapon, the flaming bowling ball plowing through bowling pin defenses. The Titans are not invincible, however. An embarrassing 14-40 loss against the Green Bay Packers in Week 16 proves there is definitely weakness in the Titans defense.
The Ravens are no longer the 14-2 juggernaut of last season, but they enter the playoffs on a five-game winning streak, having demolished all opposition. Lamar Jackson has returned to full strength, leading the Ravens to heights not seen since last season.
Lamar Jackson and the Ravens on one side, and Derrick Henry and the Titans on the other. Prepare for war.
Prediction: Ravens win, 38-35.
Result: Ravens win, 20-13.
Comments after the game:
We turn now to live footage of the Tennessee Titans looking for Derrick Henry:
The Titans ground attack was completely neutralized today by the Ravens defense. Lamar Jackson instead spearheaded a fierce Ravens ground attack that pierced the Titans defense. A late interception thrown by the Titans all but guaranteed a Ravens victory. The Ravens have now avenged last year's upset loss against the Titans.
The Ravens advance to the Divisional round to face the Buffalo Bills!
NFC
#2 New Orleans Saints vs. #7 Chicago Bears
This could very well be Drew Brees’s last chance for a second Super Bowl ring. If all goes as planned, this will certainly not be the final game these playoffs for the New Orleans Saints. Year after year, the Saints have fallen short. Maybe, just maybe, this year is the year Drew Brees finally extinguishes the painful memories of years past and claims his second ring.
Brees’s dream won’t likely die in this game. The Bears started the season with a strong 5-1 record, only to disintegrate with a six-game losing streak and fall to 8-8. To call the Bears’ hopes a long shot is quite the understatement.
Prediction: Saints win, 42-14.
Result: Saints win, 21-9.
Comments after the game:
We turn now to live footage of the Chicago Bears:
This game's outcome was never really in doubt. The Bears were badly outmatched by an aggressive Saints squad on a mission to avenge all the failures of years past. A last second touchdown by the Bears meant nothing.
The Saints advance to the Divisonal round to face the Tampa Bay Buccaneers!
***
#3 Seattle Seahawks vs. #6 Los Angeles Rams
When the Seattle Seahawks are firing on all cylinders, they’re damn near unstoppable. Russell Wilson, DK Metcalf, Tyler Lockett, and the rest of the Seahawks offense are clearly capable, but consistency has been a problem, especially after the bye week. The loss to the Giants was especially embarrassing.
The Rams must also deal with their own problems, mainly being the potential loss of Jared Goff, who has not played since a serious thumb injury while playing against the Seahawks in Week 16. Still, with or without Goff, the Rams couldn’t break the Seahawks defense in that game. The Rams cannot count on Aaron Donald to do all the defensive work while the offense offers nothing. Without any improvements on offense, the Rams will fold quickly.
Prediction: Seahawks win, 28-10.
Result: Rams win, 30-20.
Comments after the game:
Useless muppets.
By far and away, this was the worst Seahawks performance in years. The offense performed as well, if not worse, than a clogged toilet. The defense performed no better, allowing far too many points given that the Rams quarterback, Jared Goff, just had surgery on his throwing hand.
The Seahawks need to fire their offensive and defensive coordinators immediately. The play calling was utterly abysmal and unworthy of even a pre-season game, let alone a post-season game.
The Rams advance to the Divisional round to face the Green Bay Packers.
***
#4 Washington Football Team vs. #5 Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The New England Patriots dynasty may be over, but Tom Brady is just getting warmed up. Tom Brady has propelled the Buccaneers to the playoffs for the first time since 2007. The Buccaneers have been a formidable force all season, with their only lopsided losses coming against the New Orleans Saints. If there is a dark horse in the NFC, Brady, Gronk, and the Buccaneers are that force. Still looks weird not seeing Brady and Gronk in Patriots uniforms.
The Bucs’ Wild Card opponent hails from a fabled land of turmoil, when dreams of victory have been eclipsed by shadows of defeat. A maelstrom of misery where there is no glory, only mediocrity at best. Where there is no success, only chaos.
Behold: The NFC East!
The Washington [name redacted] emerge victorious from one of
the worst NFC Easts in recent memory. Washington’s hopes increased after a
stronger second half of the season, but the first half was a tsunami of failure.
Against Tom Brady? That's not a tsunami, that's an imminent asteroid impact.
Prediction: Buccaneers win, 35-17.
Result: Buccaneers win, 31-23.
Comments after the game:
Not quite the anticipated rout, but still, no surprises here. Washington was a long shot to win against Tom Brady and the Buccaneers, but the battle was never truly over until late in the fourth quarter. Washington just didn't have that late game magic to finish the comeback.
Alas, Tank Division is no more.
The Buccaneers advance to the Divisional round to face the New Orleans Saints!
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