And so, only two remain. This is it. The final battle. The grand finale. The duel of the fates.
The Super Bowl.
Two teams will fight for the Lombardi Trophy under the endless lights of the Las Vegas Strip, but first, let us look back on those who fell in battle during their own quests for Super Bowl glory.
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Cleveland Browns
LOST Wild Card vs. Texans, 14-45
The Joe Flacco redemption arc was something to behold, but all the Browns have to show for it is a brutal first round humiliation and a Watson contract that will hang over them for years to come.
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Miami Dolphins
LOST Wild Card vs. Chiefs, 7-26.
The Chiefs had a secret weapon: Canadian weather. As expected, the Dolphins stood no chance in such a frigid environment. Inconsistency and injuries do not a Super Bowl contender make.
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Dallas Cowboys
LOST Wild Card vs. Packers, 32-48.
First team to ever lose to a #7 seed. A complete implosion on all fronts. Year after year after year of playoff failure. And it wasn't even the Divisional round.
HOW
BOUT
DEM
COWBOYS
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Los Angeles Rams
LOST Wild Card vs. Lions, 23-24
The Rams fought to the bitter end, to their credit. But those lost opportunities in the red zone left far too many points on the table. The Rams tried to stop history, and failed.
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Pittsburgh Steelers
LOST Wild Card vs. Bills, 17-31
TONIGHT
ON DAYS OF OUR STEELERS
PASS THE LIQUOR
STEELERS AIN'T GAHNTA SUPAH BOWL
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Philadelphia Eagles
LOST Wild Card vs. Buccaneers, 9-32
From Super Bowl appearance to one-and-done within a year. This strategy of imitating the Vikings from last season - the worst thirteen win team ever - delivered appalling results. A team so poor even the winless Browns and Lions from years past would emerge victorious. Worst of all, this is how Jason Kelce's career ends? Not with Super Bowl glory, but a single-digit performance like this? For shame.
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Houston Texans
WON Wild Card vs. Browns, 45-14
LOST Divisional vs. Ravens, 10-34
The Texans won a blowout and then lost in a blowout. Against the Great Wall that is the Ravens defense, the Texans had no hope.
But the Texans will be back. It has been a remarkable turnaround since the disaster of last season. The future is bright for this team as long as they can figure out a way to get past the second round - this is turning into Toronto Maple Leafs levels of playoff frustration.
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Green Bay Packers
WON Wild Card vs. Cowboys, 48-32
LOST Divisional vs. 49ers, 21-24
For a team that sneaked into the playoffs at the last moment, the Packers provided us all with infinite meme material. The methodical demolition they unleashed upon the Cowboys will traumatize Dallas for years to come. The Packers have their man in Jordan Love, a worthy successor to Aaron Rodgers. But they really need to figure out how to defeat the 49ers in the playoffs. The Packers can't hope to simply avoid the 49ers in the playoffs forever.
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Tampa Bay Buccaneers
WON Wild Card vs. Eagles, 32-9
LOST Divisional vs. Lions, 23-31
Not a whole lot to say here. The Buccaneers demolished the hapless Eagles but couldn't quite keep pace with a Lions team that had just tasted victory for the first time in decades. A crucial mistake or turnover here and there gave the Lions the decisive advantage.
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Buffalo Bills
WON Wild Card vs. Steelers, 31-17
LOST Divisional vs. Chiefs, 24-27
The words WIDE RIGHT will traumatize Buffalo forever.
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Baltimore Ravens
WON Divisional vs. Texans, 34-10
LOST Championship vs. Chiefs, 10-17
Another year wasted for Lamar. Just when you think the Ravens have finally shaken off their playoff demons, when you think this is the year Lamar finally gets his ring, it all falls apart again. To their credit, the defense did their job. To hold Mahomes, Kelce, and company to just seventeen points is remarkable (don't remind the Chiefs of Super Bowl LV). But the offense? What in the midnight dreary happened to the Ravens offense? Between the brutal turnovers and refusal to unleash their famed running attack, the Ravens just seemed to surrender themselves to yet another lost year. The glory days of XLVII are rapidly fading from memory with every passing day. And so Lamar laments another loss.
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Detroit Lions
WON Wild Card vs. Rams, 24-23
WON Divisional vs. Buccaneers, 31-23
LOST Championship vs. 49ers, 31-34
Next time, take the damn points.
***
And now, the grand finale. Super Bowl LVIII. The final showdown in Las Vegas is set:
Kansas City Chiefs vs. San Francisco 49ers
Sound familiar?
Indeed, this is a rematch of Super Bowl LIV. It was a close game in the first half. The 49ers started to dominate in the third quarter but spontaneously combusted in the fourth quarter, surrendering three late touchdowns to watch their Super Bowl hopes fade in an instant.
Both teams want the Lombardi Trophy, but for different reasons.
The Chiefs won it all last season and are one win away from back to back Super Bowl victories. They had a chance to do so in LV but Tom Brady's dark magic got in the way.
The 49ers want revenge for LIV and end their decades long drought. This is the third time the 49ers have reached the Super Bowl since their last victory in XXIX. The last two trips ended in bitter defeat. Third time's the charm?
Let's take a look at each team.
How the Chiefs reached the Super Bowl
Have the New England Patriots moved to Kansas City recently? The Chiefs have been to so many Super Bowls in recent years you'd swear Tom Brady was secretly behind it all. In any event, it has been a remarkable run for the Chiefs after decades of despair. A win in Vegas would cement the Chiefs as a dynasty.
The Chiefs finished 11-6, the first time the Chiefs have not won at least twelve games with Mahomes at quarterback. The season began with a shaky loss against the Lions, but alarm bells really began to go off after the bye week: the Chiefs were 4-4 after the bye.
But in the playoffs? Unstoppable. The Dolphins turned into an ice cube. The Bills kicked wide right. The Ravens are determined to win nevermore. And so the Chiefs are back again and a fourth Lombardi Trophy for their collection.
How the Chiefs can win the Super Bowl
Mahomes and Kelce.
But the Chiefs need to be relentless. The 49ers have a habit of mounting dramatic comebacks, so the Chiefs will need all the insurance points they can score to ensure Purdy and McCaffrey can't keep up. The Chiefs have done well on defense, holding the juggernaut Ravens to a mere ten points. A significant improvement over the 30+ points the Chiefs surrendered in Super Bowls LV and LVII. But the Chiefs will face another tough test as the 49ers launch relentless attacks from the ground and the air.
How the 49ers reached the Super Bowl
The 49ers either miss the playoffs outright or make deep playoff runs. Absolutely nothing in between. This is one of those deep playoff runs.
The 49ers finished 12-5, another strong season after last year ended in an injury-riddled debacle against the Eagles. This time, the 49ers enjoyed a first round bye but nearly became one-and-done against the Packers. Then they mounted a ferocious comeback against the Lions but only just narrowly escaped with the win. The 49ers have won after every fight went to the bitter end, and now they have another chance to end their brutal Lombardi Trophy drought.
How the 49ers can win the Super Bowl
The 49ers must breach the Chiefs O-line and stop Mahomes. Otherwise, the pass defense needs to stop the Chiefs wide receivers, Kelce above all. This time, though, the 49ers cannot rely on mounting more comebacks. Fall behind against the Chiefs and a miracle will be needed to win. Purdy, McCaffrey, and the entire 49ers offense needs to bring the best effort of their lives if they wish to end their team's decades-long Lombardi Trophy drought.
FINAL PREDICTION
It's not often we see a Super Bowl rematch, but when they happen, they are thrillers. The Chiefs want back-to-back Super Bowl wins, and the 49ers want to end their drought. Prepare for a firefight - Mahomes and Purdy will see to that. It will come down to the bitter end.
And the Chiefs will be the only one left standing.
