2021-22 NFL Playoff Predictions (Part 3 - Championship)

Welcome to part 3 of my 2021-22 NFL playoff predictions! Let's not go into how I definitely didn't go 0 for 4 on my Divisional predictions, and let's get right into the Championship predictions.

Only four remain, and there are now four possible Super Bowl LVI match-ups: 

Kansas City Chiefs vs. San Francisco 49ers

Kansas City Chiefs vs. Los Angeles Rams

Cincinnati Bengals vs. San Francisco 49ers

Cincinnati Bengals vs. Los Angeles Rams

But which match-up will it be?

Let's find out.

AFC

#2 Kansas City Chiefs vs. #4 Cincinnati Bengals

If this match-up sounds familiar, it is.

It was an upset victory over the Chiefs that allowed the Bengals to clinch the AFC North. Now, the Bengals want to do it again and pounce into the Super Bowl.

It will not be easy. The Chiefs are fresh off an epic Divisional thriller victory over the Buffalo Bills, and Patrick Mahomes looks utterly unstoppable. Mahomes has only lost twice in the playoffs before, both times to Tom Brady. With Brady and the Buccaneers out, who will stop the Chiefs now? 

Joe Burrow would like a say in this matter. Burrow and the Bengals are fresh off their own stunning upset victory over the #1 Titans, all thanks to a fierce defensive effort that forced three interceptions. This victory was made possible even with the Bengals' most glaring issue: the O-line. The O-line, held together by duct tape and thin air, collapsed repeatedly against the Titans, and Burrow was sacked nine times. I repeat, Burrow was sacked nine damn times and the Bengals still won.

If the Bengals can solve their O-line issues quickly, they will have a fighting chance. If not, this will get ugly. Fast. Mahomes and the Chiefs will show no mercy.

Prediction: Chiefs win, 35-21.

Result: Bengals win, 27-24 (OT).

Comments after the game:

Brady. Rodgers. Mahomes.

ALL ELIMINATED.

Against all odds, the Bengals have triumphed. Through relentless determination, the Bengals overcame a massive deficit to emerge victorious. 

Stop for a moment and realize that two years ago, the Bengals won just TWO games in the regular season. Last season, just four wins. This season? Ten wins, the AFC North title, and a ticket to the Super Bowl.

WOW.

As for the Chiefs?

WHAT WAS THAT?

Mahomes and the Chiefs picked up where they left off against the Bills and surged to a 21-3 lead. The Bengals looked hapless, and the Chiefs scored touchdowns on three consecutive drives.

And that was effectively it.

It was 21-3.

IT.

WAS.

21.

TO.

3.

A spectacular Atlanta Falcons-level meltdown. In the first half, Mahomes was an unstoppable powerhouse. In the second half, Mahomes reverted back to early season form when the Chiefs were 3-4. What was that blunder of a play right before half time? The entire Chiefs offense folded, utterly and completely, only managing a single field goal to force overtime. And then in overtime, a cataclysmic interception sealed the fate of the Chiefs.

Now in playoff games, Mahomes has lost to Brady twice, and Burrow once. For the Chiefs, this defeat will sting for a long time.

For the Bengals, they are going to the Super Bowl for the first time since 1988!

NFC

#4 Los Angeles Rams vs. #6 San Francisco 49ers

Behold, the Battle of California.

The final NFC duel this season will be a battle of the NFC West, featuring two teams fresh off stunning victories over Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers, respectively. 

But even more bizarrely, the Rams won the NFC West despite losing twice to the 49ers. 

The Rams want another shot at the Super Bowl, but if they do make it back, please do not create a stunning cure for insomnia instead. The Snooze Bowl must never happen again. Jared Goff is long gone, replaced with Matt Stafford. Stafford went years without even a playoff, and now only one win stands between him and his first Super Bowl appearance. The Rams have dangerous weapons in the form of Cooper Kupp and Odell Beckham Jr., and an especially dangerous defense lead by Aaron Donald and Von Miller. That said, the defense needs to actually hold on and not implode late in the game like they did against the Buccaneers.

But the 49ers just keep winning. First was the victory over the Dallas "forgot how clocks work" Cowboys, and then a shock upset victory over the Green Bay Packers. Now the 49ers want another shot at the Super Bowl to make up for their heartbreaking late implosion in Super Bowl LIV. Injuries have been a persistent issue for the 49ers, with Jimmy Garoppolo's shoulder being the greatest question mark. The 49ers certainly have potent weapons of their own in Deebo Samuel and George Kittle, complimented by a ferocious defense lead by Nick Bosa.

If you're looking for another game as thrilling as the Bill-Chiefs epic, this could be it. It will be a battle to the bitter end, but only one will survive.

Prediction: Rams win, 31-28.

Result: Rams win, 20-17.

Comments after the game:

So it turns out the Bengals-Chiefs epic was the proper sequel to the Bills-Chiefs epic, but the NFC Championship was a tense affair nonetheless. This was not a terribly high-scoring game, and took a while to get going after a scoreless first quarter. There were signs the 49ers were gunning for a third consecutive upset, but third time was the curse on this day. Just like in Super Bowl LIV, the 49ers collapsed in the fourth quarter, surrendering a ten point lead and coughing up a brutal late interception to seal their fate. Kyle Shanahan will never catch a break, will he?

For the second year in a row, the Super Bowl stadium will feature its home team!

2021-22 NFL playoff predictions (Part 2 - Divisional)

Welcome to part 2 of my 2020-21 NFL playoff predictions! Five for six on my Wild Card predictions. Not too bad, indeed. Only miss was the Cowboys-49ers game, when the Cowboys forgot how clocks work.

Onto the Divisional round predictions!

AFC

#1 Tennessee Titans vs. #4 Cincinnati Bengals

The Titans might be living up to their name this weekend, should Derrick Henry - the King - make his much anticipated return. If so, the Bengals will have the great displeasure of facing one of the most dangerous ground attacks in the league.

By contrast, the Bengals thrive with their deadly passing attack. Joe Burrow will ensure the Bengals have a strong offense, but they need an answer to the Titans ground assault. The Bengals defense must stop the rush, or else they'll be rushing out of the playoffs.

Prediction: Titans win, 31-21.

Result: Bengals win, 19-16

Comments after the game:

The Titans defense looked unstoppable today. Joe Burrow was sacked NINE times, the Bengals O-line looking like complete Swiss cheese.

And all it took to undo the defense's work was Ryan Tannehill. Three horrific interceptions allowed the Bengals to survive and kick a last-second field goal to advance to the AFC Championship.

This could well have been the Titans' year. It could have been, but it will not. The Titans had Derrick Henry, and they still couldn't get it done.

Titans, our last departing words for you:

***

#2 Kansas City Chiefs vs. #3 Buffalo Bills

I have no confidence in my pick for this game. 

None.

Two powerhouse teams, fresh off dominating wins, are about to collide. The unstoppable force meets the immovable object. Patrick Mahomes against Josh Allen. The duel of the fates. The Super Bowl before the Super Bowl.

If you watch any Divisional game this weekend, watch this one. It is primed to be an all-time classic.

Prediction: Bills win, 52-49.

Result: Chiefs win, 42-36 (OT).

Comments after the game:

As expected, a classic game. Too bad the overtime rules absolutely suck.

NFC

#1 Green Bay Packers vs. #6 San Francisco 49ers

Aaron Rodgers isn't a particularly big fan of the 49ers. Three times Rodgers has faced the 49ers in the playoffs, and three times he has been defeated. Fourth time's the charm? He would certainly hope so. 

The Packers haven't had too many problems in Divisional games in recent years; it's the cursed NFC Championship game that always seems to end their Super Bowl hopes and dreams. The Packers are consistently strong in the regular season, but never quite seem to get it done in the playoffs. All their energy runs out too early. 

That said, it seems unlikely the Packers will run out of steam in the Divisional round this year. True, the 49ers are fresh off an upset victory over the Cowboys, but the 49ers' own late game collapse was only salvaged by the even more spectacular collapse of the Cowboys. Worse, the 49ers are also dealing with injuries, including to Jimmy Garoppolo and Nick Bosa, the latter being far more concerning. If Bosa cannot play, it will be a severe blow to the 49ers defense, enough to allow Rodgers free reign on the field.

The 49ers should keep it interesting, but it won't quite be enough.

Prediction: Packers win, 35-28.

Result: 49ers win, 13-10.

Comments after the game: 

We have some stunning live footage of the Packers special teams unit:

Total disaster. 

A catastrophic blocked punt returned for a 49ers touchdown was the final blow to the Packers' hopes. And so the drought continues. Year after year for the last decade, the Packers enjoy a strong regular season but follow it up with playoff disappointment. Will the misery ever end for Green Bay? No way to tell at this point.

But hey, it least the latest playoff failure wasn't in the NFC Championship game!

***

#2 Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. #4 Los Angeles Rams

Tom Brady against the Rams? Where have I heard this one before...?

Oh no.

If this somehow turns into a rerun of Super Bowl LIII, all insomnia in America will be instantly cured.

The Buccaneers are plagued with injuries, but they have a devastating weapon of mass destruction called Tom Brady. As long as the o-line can hold out long enough, Brady shouldn't have too much trouble. That said, the Rams defense is a mighty powerhouse that will test Brady far more than the Eagles did in the Wild Card. Matt Stafford's confidence is surely at an all-time high as well, having finally secured his first playoff win.

Expect a shootout.

Prediction: Buccaneers win, 34-31.

Result: Rams win, 30-27.

Comments after the game:

Brady wielded his magic, but the Tampa defense imploded at the worst possible moment. There will be a new Super Bowl champion this year.

2021-22 NFL Playoff Predictions (Part 1 - Wild Card)

 

Happy New Year! As a new year begins and we leave 2020 behind, it’s time for my annual NFL playoff predictions. This post will focus on the Wild Card games; future posts will predict the outcomes of the Divisional and Championship games, and eventually the Super Bowl.

Let’s go.

First round byes

#1 Tennessee Titans

#1 Green Bay Packers

AFC

#2 Kansas City Chiefs vs. #7 Pittsburgh Steelers

TONIGHT, ON DAYS OF OUR STEELERS

Okay, perhaps that’s slightly jumping the gun. The Steelers have endured a shaky season, beginning with a 1-3 start, tying with the winless Detroit Lions, and stumbling into a playoff spot at the absolute last second. But all that matters is that they made it. Close, but they made it. The light at the end of the tunnel, the playoffs, beckons them.

Oh.

Never mind, the light at the end of the tunnel is just the high-speed train known as the Kansas City Chiefs.  

Prediction: Chiefs win, 42-14.

Result: Chiefs win, 42-21.

Comments after the game:

TONIGHT, ON DAYS OF OUR STEELERS

ALL THIS BECAUSE THE RAIDERS REJECTED CHAOS. 

WAS IT WORTH IT?

THE BELLS OF BIG BEN FALL SILENT ON THIS NIGHT.

 ***

#3 Buffalo Bills vs. #6 New England Patriots

What’s the deal with the Bills? This is a team that defeated the Chiefs, but then scored only six points against the Jacksonville Jaguars. All but two of their losses are playoff teams. And yet the Bills enter the playoffs enter the playoffs with some momentum with a four-game winning streak.

The same deal applies to the Patriots – win seven in a row, then drop three of their last four. Consistently strong or consistently poor, no middle ground. True, one of those games was a 50-10 rout, but it was over the Jaguars.

It’s another year, and the Bills want that coveted first Super Bowl, while the Patriots want to resurrect the dynasties of the 2000s and the 2010s. This will be a close one.

Prediction: Bills win, 31-28.

Result: Bills win, 47-17.

Comments after the game:

We have some stunning live footage of Josh Allen:

And the Patriots?

Ouch.

Total demolition. By far the most spectacular destruction of the Patriots in recent memory. On this frigid night in Buffalo, the Patriots were utterly destroyed, incinerated, obliterated, annihilated. Any number of words could describe this utter demolition. The Patriots have never been the same since the Snooze Bowl win over the Rams three years ago.

And fans of all other NFL teams will respond to the destruction of the Patriots with a simple:

 ***

#4 Cincinnati Bengals vs. #5 Las Vegas Raiders

Long time, no see, Cincinnati. Seven years since you last made the playoffs, thirty years since your last playoff victory. And you took the division by upsetting the Chiefs? Most impressive. But that isn’t important right now. One moment, please, I need a word with the Raiders.

YOU HAVE FAILED US, RAIDERS. ABSOLUTELY FAILED. THE CHAOS MEMES WOULD HAVE FUELED THE INTERNET FOR GENERATIONS. BUT NO, YOU JUST HAD TO KICK THAT FIELD GOAL. YOU WERE TOO SCARED OF THE CHIEFS. YOU HAVE FAILED. 

YOU. 

HAVE. 

FAILED.

Anyway. True, the Raiders have won four in a row. None of those teams are in the playoffs. As such, the Raiders shall suffer the consequences of enraging the meme lords.

Prediction: Bengals win, 34-21.

Result: Bengals win, 26-19.

Comments after the game:

RAIDERS, THIS IS THE PENALTY FOR BETRAYING THE MEME LORDS. FOR DENYING US INFINITE CHAOS MEMES, YOU HAVE SUFFERED DEFEAT AND HANDED THE BENGALS THEIR FIRST PLAYOFF WIN IN THREE DECADES. 

BE GONE.

NFC

#2 Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. #7 Philadelphia Eagles

Welcome to Tom Brady vs. the Philadelphia Eagles 2: The Reckoning! Even in the 2020s, Tom Brady looks as dangerous as ever. The reigning Super Bowl champions want to follow in the footsteps of their NHL brothers, the Tampa Bay Lightning, and win a second straight championship.

The Eagles, meanwhile, are…here. The Eagles ended their regular season with an utterly embarrassing rout against the Cowboys. Just enough momentum to make the playoffs, only to spectacularly fail in the regular season finale. Momentum? Hardly.

The Tom Brady Show will not end during the Wild Card weekend.

Prediction: Buccaneers win, 35-17.

Result: Buccaneers win, 31-15.

Comments after the game: 

As expected.

Join us next week for another thrilling episode of the Tom Brady Show!

 ***

#3 Dallas Cowboys vs. #6 San Francisco 49ers

Behold, the Dallas Cowboys. By far one of the greatest threats in the NFC with over 100 points scored in their last three games, posting over fifty points in two of them. Dak Prescott is having the best season of his career, and the Cowboys look ready to go on a major playoff run.

That said, the 49ers are a threat, the potential dark horse from the NFC West. After a shaky start, the 49ers have been quietly working towards the playoffs while the spotlight was focused on their NFC West counterparts in the Cardinals and Rams. Injuries have plagued the team, however. Should anything flare up during the game, the 49ers risk going one and done.

If an upset happens, this could be where it happens. But if if the Cowboys maintain their relentless firepower, forget about it.

Prediction: Cowboys win, 34-24.

Result: 49ers win, 23-17.

Comments after the game:

And now, a summary of the Dallas Cowboys this game:

What a mess!

Endless penalties and a sluggish offense all culminates in a disastrous final play that abruptly ends the Cowboys season. Hail Mary? Nah, let's just run it a few yards up the field and let time expire. That should do it! Or not.

What were they thinking?

 ***

#4 Los Angeles Rams vs. #5 Arizona Cardinals

Behold, the (first?) battle of the NFC West these playoffs. In this corner, we have the Arizona Cardinals, who went from an impressive 7-0 start to losing six of their last ten! They were flying high, and they’re flying right into the mouth of a hungry cat.

The Rams, meanwhile, also had a strong 7-1 start, but a rough November threw things into doubt. But the Rams capitalized by winning five of their last six games and won the NFC West, so this year’s Super Bowl venue will also get at least a Wild Card game.

This should be a relatively spirited affair, but the Cardinals have run out of steam. That agonizing last-minute interception against the Packers started all this.

Prediction: Rams win, 28-21.

Result: Rams win, 34-11.

Comments after the game:

From 7-0 to one and done. The Cardinals were finished before halftime.