2021-22 NFL Playoff Predictions (Part 1 - Wild Card)

 

Happy New Year! As a new year begins and we leave 2020 behind, it’s time for my annual NFL playoff predictions. This post will focus on the Wild Card games; future posts will predict the outcomes of the Divisional and Championship games, and eventually the Super Bowl.

Let’s go.

First round byes

#1 Tennessee Titans

#1 Green Bay Packers

AFC

#2 Kansas City Chiefs vs. #7 Pittsburgh Steelers

TONIGHT, ON DAYS OF OUR STEELERS

Okay, perhaps that’s slightly jumping the gun. The Steelers have endured a shaky season, beginning with a 1-3 start, tying with the winless Detroit Lions, and stumbling into a playoff spot at the absolute last second. But all that matters is that they made it. Close, but they made it. The light at the end of the tunnel, the playoffs, beckons them.

Oh.

Never mind, the light at the end of the tunnel is just the high-speed train known as the Kansas City Chiefs.  

Prediction: Chiefs win, 42-14.

Result: Chiefs win, 42-21.

Comments after the game:

TONIGHT, ON DAYS OF OUR STEELERS

ALL THIS BECAUSE THE RAIDERS REJECTED CHAOS. 

WAS IT WORTH IT?

THE BELLS OF BIG BEN FALL SILENT ON THIS NIGHT.

 ***

#3 Buffalo Bills vs. #6 New England Patriots

What’s the deal with the Bills? This is a team that defeated the Chiefs, but then scored only six points against the Jacksonville Jaguars. All but two of their losses are playoff teams. And yet the Bills enter the playoffs enter the playoffs with some momentum with a four-game winning streak.

The same deal applies to the Patriots – win seven in a row, then drop three of their last four. Consistently strong or consistently poor, no middle ground. True, one of those games was a 50-10 rout, but it was over the Jaguars.

It’s another year, and the Bills want that coveted first Super Bowl, while the Patriots want to resurrect the dynasties of the 2000s and the 2010s. This will be a close one.

Prediction: Bills win, 31-28.

Result: Bills win, 47-17.

Comments after the game:

We have some stunning live footage of Josh Allen:

And the Patriots?

Ouch.

Total demolition. By far the most spectacular destruction of the Patriots in recent memory. On this frigid night in Buffalo, the Patriots were utterly destroyed, incinerated, obliterated, annihilated. Any number of words could describe this utter demolition. The Patriots have never been the same since the Snooze Bowl win over the Rams three years ago.

And fans of all other NFL teams will respond to the destruction of the Patriots with a simple:

 ***

#4 Cincinnati Bengals vs. #5 Las Vegas Raiders

Long time, no see, Cincinnati. Seven years since you last made the playoffs, thirty years since your last playoff victory. And you took the division by upsetting the Chiefs? Most impressive. But that isn’t important right now. One moment, please, I need a word with the Raiders.

YOU HAVE FAILED US, RAIDERS. ABSOLUTELY FAILED. THE CHAOS MEMES WOULD HAVE FUELED THE INTERNET FOR GENERATIONS. BUT NO, YOU JUST HAD TO KICK THAT FIELD GOAL. YOU WERE TOO SCARED OF THE CHIEFS. YOU HAVE FAILED. 

YOU. 

HAVE. 

FAILED.

Anyway. True, the Raiders have won four in a row. None of those teams are in the playoffs. As such, the Raiders shall suffer the consequences of enraging the meme lords.

Prediction: Bengals win, 34-21.

Result: Bengals win, 26-19.

Comments after the game:

RAIDERS, THIS IS THE PENALTY FOR BETRAYING THE MEME LORDS. FOR DENYING US INFINITE CHAOS MEMES, YOU HAVE SUFFERED DEFEAT AND HANDED THE BENGALS THEIR FIRST PLAYOFF WIN IN THREE DECADES. 

BE GONE.

NFC

#2 Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. #7 Philadelphia Eagles

Welcome to Tom Brady vs. the Philadelphia Eagles 2: The Reckoning! Even in the 2020s, Tom Brady looks as dangerous as ever. The reigning Super Bowl champions want to follow in the footsteps of their NHL brothers, the Tampa Bay Lightning, and win a second straight championship.

The Eagles, meanwhile, are…here. The Eagles ended their regular season with an utterly embarrassing rout against the Cowboys. Just enough momentum to make the playoffs, only to spectacularly fail in the regular season finale. Momentum? Hardly.

The Tom Brady Show will not end during the Wild Card weekend.

Prediction: Buccaneers win, 35-17.

Result: Buccaneers win, 31-15.

Comments after the game: 

As expected.

Join us next week for another thrilling episode of the Tom Brady Show!

 ***

#3 Dallas Cowboys vs. #6 San Francisco 49ers

Behold, the Dallas Cowboys. By far one of the greatest threats in the NFC with over 100 points scored in their last three games, posting over fifty points in two of them. Dak Prescott is having the best season of his career, and the Cowboys look ready to go on a major playoff run.

That said, the 49ers are a threat, the potential dark horse from the NFC West. After a shaky start, the 49ers have been quietly working towards the playoffs while the spotlight was focused on their NFC West counterparts in the Cardinals and Rams. Injuries have plagued the team, however. Should anything flare up during the game, the 49ers risk going one and done.

If an upset happens, this could be where it happens. But if if the Cowboys maintain their relentless firepower, forget about it.

Prediction: Cowboys win, 34-24.

Result: 49ers win, 23-17.

Comments after the game:

And now, a summary of the Dallas Cowboys this game:

What a mess!

Endless penalties and a sluggish offense all culminates in a disastrous final play that abruptly ends the Cowboys season. Hail Mary? Nah, let's just run it a few yards up the field and let time expire. That should do it! Or not.

What were they thinking?

 ***

#4 Los Angeles Rams vs. #5 Arizona Cardinals

Behold, the (first?) battle of the NFC West these playoffs. In this corner, we have the Arizona Cardinals, who went from an impressive 7-0 start to losing six of their last ten! They were flying high, and they’re flying right into the mouth of a hungry cat.

The Rams, meanwhile, also had a strong 7-1 start, but a rough November threw things into doubt. But the Rams capitalized by winning five of their last six games and won the NFC West, so this year’s Super Bowl venue will also get at least a Wild Card game.

This should be a relatively spirited affair, but the Cardinals have run out of steam. That agonizing last-minute interception against the Packers started all this.

Prediction: Rams win, 28-21.

Result: Rams win, 34-11.

Comments after the game:

From 7-0 to one and done. The Cardinals were finished before halftime.

Super Bowl LV Aftermath

Buccaneers win Super Bowl LV, 31-9

The dark force energy flowed strongly tonight.

The 2020-21 NFL season has concluded with a lopsided 31-9 Tampa Bay Buccaneers victory over the reigning Super Bowl champions, the Kansas City Chiefs! This was quite the action-packed game, but unlike Super Bowls in recent years, the outcome tonight was never really in doubt.

The first half was all Tampa Bay, jumping out to a commanding 21-6 lead at halftime. Tom Brady was exceptional today, throwing no interceptions and executing a ruthless air assault against the Chiefs. But really, the Chiefs' main enemy was the penalty flag. Penalty after penalty after penalty against the Chiefs allowed Brady and the Buccaneers to take advantage and run up the score. The second half was no better for the Chiefs. Tampa Bay dealt even more damage and then held the line, denying the Chiefs entrance into the endzone. 

The Chiefs played their worst game in years today. Patrick Mahomes failed to score a single touchdown all game - the nine points were all field goals. Aggravating matters was the Chiefs O-line; as expected, the O-line proved to be a weakness, and the Buccaneers breached it three times. Mahomes instead threw two interceptions. An abysmal performance from the reigning Super Bowl champions. 

Remember all those comeback victories Mahomes spearheaded last season? Remember the twenty-one unanswered points the Chiefs scored in the fourth quarter of Super Bowl LIV? All a distant memory now.

The Chiefs came into this game ready to defend their Super Bowl title.

And then Tom Brady crushed their dreams.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are your Super Bowl LV Champions - the first team to ever win the Super Bowl in their home stadium!

Tom Brady wins his seventh ring at home while the Chiefs return to Missouri empty-handed, denied their chance for a second consecutive Super Bowl win.

2020-21 NFL Playoff Predictions (Part 4 - Super Bowl)

This is it. The final battle. The last showdown. The clash of the titans. The duel of the fates. The Super Bowl. In a season marred by COVID-19, the season has survived and it's time for the grand finale. It all comes down to a battle for the ages, and the match-up is set:

Kansas City Chiefs vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Super Bowl LV will be a showdown of the old guard versus the next generation. Tom Brady against Patrick Mahomes. Indeed, Tom Brady is the main reason why Patrick Mahomes is only playing in his second straight Super Bowl instead of his third straight. This showdown will be held amid historic moments: the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are the first Super Bowl competitor to play the big game in their own stadium, and Tom Brady will be playing in his first Super Bowl in two years.

How the Chiefs reached the Super Bowl

The Chiefs haven't lost a step since their Super Bowl ring, and they're determined to add a second championship to their name. Patrick Mahomes, as always, has dominated all opposition en route to a second straight Super Bowl. Concussion be damned, Mahomes hasn't lost a step. Fueling the Chiefs success is that they excel across the board. Tyreek Hill once won a race against light itself, and Travis Kelce remains an unstoppable cannonball.

In the playoffs, the Chiefs narrowly won the Divisional game against the Cleveland Browns, 22-17. Mahomes suffered a concussion in this game and was forced to sit out, but Chad Henne ensured the Browns could not complete the comeback. Danger close, but the Chiefs survived.

The AFC Championship was far more decisive: Mahomes shrugged off the concussion and steamrolled the Buffalo Bills 38-24. The game did not start well for the Chiefs after they fell into a 9-0 hole, but everyone remembers last season. Falling behind in a game by single digits or even double digits? May as well be easy mode for Mahomes.

How the Chiefs can win the Super Bowl 

The Chiefs need everyone at the top of their game if they wish to defeat Tom Brady. The game will clearly be a battle in the air, so expect Mahomes to utilize all weapons on the field to torch the Buccaneers defense. The Chiefs need to be careful, though; the Buccaneers turned the Green Bay Packers O-line into Swiss cheese, and will be eager to do so against the Chiefs as well. Protect Mahomes and the touchdowns will arrive in due time. 

Defensively, the Chiefs pass coverage neutralized the Bills passing game; neutralize Brady's attack and this game will be over in a hurry. Whether the Chiefs can weather the Tom Brady storm remains to be seen.

***

How the Buccaneers reached the Super Bowl

Here's a team that's been out of the playoffs for nearly twenty years. Give them Tom Brady, and they're Super Bowl bound. Maybe Brady just wants to make up for the snoozefest inflicted on the world that was Super Bowl LIII.

In any event, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers finished the season 11-5, their best record since 2005. The Buccaneers had a slow start, turned on the gas, endured mid-season struggles, before closing out the regular season with four straight wins. 

The Buccaneers took the long route through the playoffs. First, they toppled Washington 31-23, a back-and-forth battle that ended with the Buccaneers finally winning a playoff game after a nearly twenty year drought.

Next, the Buccaneers torched Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints 30-20, capitalizing on the mistakes of the turnover-heavy Saints offense live on Nickelodeon. No, we haven't fallen into some bizarre interdimensional rip in reality that sent us all back to the 90s.

Finally, the Buccaneers shocked everyone by defeating the Green Bay Packers 31-26 - at Lambeau Field in the winter! This despite Tom Brady throwing interception after interception. It helped when the Packers failed to capitalize on their opportunities, and it helped even more so when the Packers decided that winning isn't fun and settled for a game-losing field goal.

Tom Brady is back.

How the Buccaneers can win the Super Bowl

Tom Brady.

Last season, Brady looked as if the magic was gone after a humiliating Wild Card loss to the Tennessee Titans. One year later, and Brady looks as dangerous as ever. Brady's strengths are amplified with a solid Buccaneers offense featuring the likes of Mike Evans and Rob Gronkowski.

Just like the Chiefs, the Buccaneers road to victory lies in the air. Brady has a habit of executing incredible plays throughout the postseason, and this year is no exception. 

The Buccaneers need to decimate the Chiefs O-line and stop Mahomes as fast as they can. If not, few, if any, can stop Tyreek Hill and Travis Kelce will make short work of the Buccaneers defense. Stop Mahomes, and suddenly the Chiefs have lost their primary weapon.

FINAL PREDICTION

This will truly be a battle for the ages. A legendary game that no one should miss. Expect a mighty high-scoring affair between two outstanding quarterbacks. Mahomes should be preparing to win a second straight Super Bowl, but...

...Tom Brady's going to wield some dark force energy to win his seventh Super Bowl ring, isn't he?

Buccaneers win, 35-28