2023-24 NFL Playoff Predictions (Part 2 - Divisional)

Welcome to part 2 of my 2023-24 NFL playoff predictions! Four for six on my Wild Card predictions. Not bad.

Let's roll.

AFC

#1 Baltimore Ravens vs. #4 Houston Texans

The Baltimore Ravens have one objective: destroy everything in their path en route to the Super Bowl. The Ravens have bowled through nearly all opposition this season, and when they did lose, the margin of defeat was never more than one score. Above all, the Ravens defense strikes fear into the hearts of all offenses, sacking quarterbacks and forcing turnovers without mercy. All that said, there is one glaring problem with the Ravens: their frustrating habit of imploding in the postseason. Their impressive 14-2 run in 2019 ended with darkness there, and nothing more.

Enter the Houston Texans. Fresh off their stunning and methodical demolition of the Cleveland Browns, CJ Stroud and the Texans seek to overcome their own postseason nemesis: the Divisional round. Much as the Cowboys have spent years failing to get past the Divisional round, the Texans have never won a Divisional playoff game. 

It's a matter of who will be the first to slay their own playoff demons.

Prediction: Ravens win, 28-14.

Result: Ravens win, 34-10.

Comments after the game:

The Texans had no answer for either the Ravens ironclad defense or the monster truck that is the Ravens ground attack. Quoth the Raven...

*** 

#2 Buffalo Bills vs. #3 Kansas City Chiefs

Behold, the most anticipated game of the playoffs so far. The Bills are eager for revenge, while the Chiefs are hoping to defeat the Bills for the third time in the 2020s. There is, however, one major twist: Patrick Mahomes faces unfamiliar territory as he must now play his first ever road playoff game (Super Bowls are considered neutral sites). The roar of Arrowhead will not be there to help him. Instead, Mahomes must face the roaring, vengeful crowds of Buffalo. If Mahomes has an AT-AT on hand, it might help navigate the endless blizzards Buffalo seems to experiencing this winter.

Home field and home blizzard advantage may be the factors Josh Allen and the Bills need to finally defeat Mahomes and the Chiefs. It won't be easy, though. The Bills have one path to revenge, and there is no room for errors or turnovers. Prepare for a war in the snow.

Prediction: Bills win, 35-34.

Result: Chiefs win, 27-24.

Comments after the game:

The most horrifying words for any Bills fan:

WIDE RIGHT

~

NFC

#1 San Francisco 49ers vs. #7 Green Bay Packers 

The Packers defied all odds and humiliated, demolished, and annihilated the Dallas Cowboys last weekend. Their reward? A trip to California to visit their most hated playoff rival, the San Francisco 49ers. The Packers have lost every playoff matchup against the 49ers since the 2001 season. Aaron Rodgers never had any luck against the 49ers, but what about Jordan Love? The Packers never faced the 49ers in the regular season, so there's no telling how Jordan Love will respond to the fearsome juggernaut of the NFC West.

On the other side, the 49ers are the clear favorites to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl, but their health is their worst enemy. Lest we forget last year's NFC Championship, when the 49ers roster became an infirmary and destroyed any hopes of a Super Bowl appearance. This time, however, the 49ers are healthy. Even an energized Packers team is unlikely to overcome a powerhouse with the likes of Purdy and McCaffrey in good health.

Prediction: 49ers win, 35-21.

Result: 49ers win, 24-21.

Comments after the game:

We have stunning live footage of the most hated food in Green Bay, Wisconsin:

Two costly interceptions and a brutal missed field goal dashed hopes of another shocking Packers upset.  

In the playoffs, the Packers simply cannot solve the 49ers. Whether it's Rodgers or Love, the Packers can't breach the 49er brick wall.

*** 

#3 Detroit Lions vs. #4 Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The Lions-Rams thriller was easiest the best of all the Wild Card games - amid a sea of lopsided victories, the Lions needed every second to win a playoff game for the first time in decades. Jared Goff and the Lions offense delivered when it mattered, but the Lions defense bent a bit too much and allowed the Rams to keep pace until the bitter end. Still, the Lions defense prevented the Rams from scoring a single red zone touchdown, and that was how the Lions ultimately survived. 

The Buccaneers, meanwhile, are fresh from their coup de grâce against the hapless Philadelphia Eagles. Baker Mayfield and the Bucs delivered an excellent performance but against a team everyone knew was about to crash and burn. A win over the Lions would be a commanding statement, but the Lions have tasted victory and hunger for more.

Prediction: Lions win, 28-24.

Result: Lions win, 31-23.

Comments after the game:

Another week, another thriller, and another Lions playoff victory. The Lions are the real deal. Their toughest battle so far awaits them: a visit to Santa Clara to face the San Francisco 49ers for the NFC Championship.